How To: Get Ready in the Mornings…After Kids

I think having children is sometimes like getting a crack on the head and suffering from amnesia. You often forget who you are and have to figure out how to do the things you used to do while in a drastically different situation.

One of those things for me was getting ready in the mornings, or especially getting ready for a (rare) night out. Gone are the days of blasting ridiculously loud dance music, spending hours on hair, makeup and nails. Enter: the days of trying to prevent bodily harm and still manage to not look ill.

I’ll say it. If I don’t wear makeup, people WILL ask me if I am feeling ok. I have super blonde lashes, eyes that disappear into beady little slits, and black rings around my eyes that make me look as if I lost the heavyweight title (or got smashed in the face with a toy truck, which is VERY believable these days).

I wear makeup. Every day. Every single time I leave the house. Why? Because I LIKE to. Not because I HAVE to, but I actually like wearing makeup, and I am not going to apologize to those moms out there who go for the fresh-faced look and can’t believe people wear makeup every day. Good for you. I am happy that you are comfortable enough in your own skin to not mar it with artifice. Me? I’ll take my NARS blush and volumizing mascara, thank you very much.

Ok, the real question after you have children becomes HOW do you do this? Let me break down for you as to what I did. Keep in mind, I am not a pediatrician nor a child safety expert (as you will see):

The Infant Stage

You might not make it out of the house for a while. Truth. But when you do venture beyond those four walls that are driving you well, up the wall, you will probably want to try and look a little like your old self.

First, taking a shower. This is tricky, because you might not be one of those parents who can let their child cry at all. Me? As long as they aren’t hurt, they can survive long enough for me to get the grease and dry shampoo out of my terrible tresses. I put my son in the Fisher Price Little Lamb seat when he was just outside the shower door while he dozed. I also showered in the dark so he could sleep easier (easier to ignore stretch marks anyways until you are ready to come to terms). If your little one falls asleep in this, it isn’t too terribly difficult to pick up the whole seat and move them around. After you are out of the shower, and if your little one has started screaming, try using the blow drier. Calmed mine down a decent amount of the time. You can even sit on the floor and do your makeup in front of them- not as convenient, but describing how to correctly apply mascara might keep them entertained.

Fisher-Price My Little Lamb Infant Seat- around $50 on

The Crawler

YAY! Your little one can now crawl! Wonderful for their developmental milestone, kinda crappy for your routine. They no longer want to be strapped into a seat, they want to be on the MOVE. My solution? Put up the Pack n’ Play in the bathroom if you have room, or put it up just outside the door where you can hear them if your bathroom is too small. Put some toys in there and go for it.

The New Walker

Again, these kids just keep changing the damn game on you, don’t they? When my son first started walking, he was a disaster. He would trip on his own two feet, and bash his head into the tile floor if I wasn’t within arms reach. He didn’t want to hang in the Pack n’ Play, so I baby-proofed the bathroom AND put every single rug in the house down on the floor for him. I also bought a storage ottoman and filled it with random items that stayed in the bathroom so they would be “special toys” for when mommy takes a shower.

Storage Ottoman with removable lid- NOT recommended to climb into like this!

The Climber

Now my son is two. He isn’t in danger of taking a dive, but he can definitely climb on anything and everything. My bathroom is already child-proofed (I highly recommend a toilet lock if your toilet is not in a separate room…I did hear a splash at one point from my climber when I was using the guest bath for a day and yep- there he was, full body in the toilet, splashing around). I also removed the lid from the storage ottoman, unscrewed the hot water handles on every sink and tub, and keep EVERYTHING pushed to the way back of the counter. I will swap out the toys every so often to keep them interesting. The only issue is that the crafty bugger has learned how to unlock the regular bathroom door lock. We do have door latches that are installed WAY up high, cost less than $10 each and don’t interfere with the door handle itself. These are genius. Grab a bunch on and shower a little slower 🙂

Door Flip Lock for Child Safety- around $7 on

Getting Your Makeup Done

Yep, I let my kid climb on the storage ottoman because, surprise surprise, he wants to do what I do and be at my height. I don’t recommend doing this since I am sure it isn’t the safest option, it is just what works for me. I put some water in the sink, let him play “car wash” with his toy cars, and stand behind him. I also have friends who get faucet locks for the tub and their their kids play in there.

Listen. I am not an advocate of abandoning your child’s cries for an hour while you flat iron your hair and perfect your nail art so you can meet up with the other mommies for lunch. I am just in favor of trying to keep your sense of self, and be happy with how you look!

How do YOU get ready in the morning with your crew?