Suburban Housewife Problems

Most of us lead a very privileged life, me included. Some days, I have to remind myself of this so I "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." Here is some (very) small stuff that we suburban housewives encounter and need to remember that none of this actually matters in real life: 

When your 1/3 life crisis involves getting a tattoo and you can't figure out how to get the extra tattoo ink off of your 1,000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.



When Sephora is out of the OPI polish you need for this season and you secretly get huffy because there is simply no replacement for that exact shade.

When a sports game cuts into your DVR'ed episode of The Good Wife and you can't sleep because you are wondering if Alicia and Will finally get together, or what team Kalinda plays for.


You put the vacuum out in the middle of the room just so your husband thinks you vacuumed today. Sometimes the illusion of clean is what matters.

 
Trying like hell to figure out where all the ants are coming from in the spring when you suddenly remember that night you made an oops opening a bottle of celebratory champagne and spilled it all over the patio door.

When you go shopping at Forever 21 and everyone calls you ma'm and Mrs. So and So. Listen, I am trying to BLEND in here and you sales people are not helping! I BELONG! I SWEAR! I can pull off that mini or the bandage dress with the plunging neckline!


When you secretly look for style tips from your babysitter and consider asking her where she shops, but realize that it might be a little weird since you are old enough to be her mom.


When you spend the money budgeted for groceries on that new pair of shoes you have been eying at DSW for the past month. Your rationale is: dinner will be over after tonight, but these shoes will last the whole season.

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